My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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