You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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