We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
