Did you just see the Batmobile???
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
