It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
