My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
