He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
