fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
