you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
