dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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