My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
