u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
