I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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