It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Randomize
