I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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