Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
