He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You took a bar mat shot.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
