Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
