Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Banned from zoo.
Again?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
