I hate all girls vehemently.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize