Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
