Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i now understand why vodka
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
