Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
