Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
BRING THE BAGELS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
