I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I want a musical about memes.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
