There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize