im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
