I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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