i just wanna soil my oats bro
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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