..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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