I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize