that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Dicks are not precious.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
