Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
