I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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