Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's rum buckets o'clock
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
