Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So vagazzling was a success
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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