im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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