i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I wear drunk well.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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