Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
