That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
