you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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