I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
