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Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
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There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
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DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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