she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
