I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
