Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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