We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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