We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize