Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize