we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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