I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
