we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
