I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
