i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
