I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize