just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize