sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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