put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
