Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
