So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
