All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
