i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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