you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
