My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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