If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
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