grandma shit on top of the toilet
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
