OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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